"What the hell are you doing in cairo?

"What the hell are you doing in cairo?

I thought they were making all the Americans leave"…Grandpa

For anyone who has known me and been in regular contact in the last two years, you know that my visits to my grandpa are so so important. When I left, he told me to stay away from Egypt. Today I called him and over a poor connection told him I was in cairo. His response…"What the hell are you doing in cairo?" I love the man, but I am also crazy and cant resist good (really?) offers.

Rob and I are now at my friend Ahmed's place, just a short distance from the square. We arrived in the morning without any trouble via taxi. There are reports coming out that seem radical to me. Mubarak says that he thinks leaving now without resolution would leave the country in a poor state and I think he is right, but people want him gone. My question is why have they waited 30 years to voice their opinion? I know that it is bad under him, even Ahmed had to flee the country 13 years ago because of police brutality (sticky situation), but he is sitting in his house avoiding the streets. I don’t have to tell you what you see on the news, that is obvious. But there are many other stories to tell that are not being aired.

I have decided to dedicate this forum to expressing the sense of normalcy amid the chaos. You wont get it any where else. Individualsa going through identity crisis, souls on a journey, and humans dealing with loss. I mentioned earlier that Ahmed's mom passed. It is my most important mission right now to make sure that he is OK, loved, and attended to. I don’t care about protests and revolution, I care for my friend.

The helicopters continue to circle, making it hard to sleep. After two days of being awake, I am glued to the news and the damned helicopters. I just want to see the pyramids then go to Beirut.

I must sound completely bifocal, biloco or bipolar with the last two paragraphs. The truth is I do care about revolution. I think it is amazing what human beings can create and achieve through mass uprising...I also think it is scary. I know that Peace, equality, and liberation are ideally achieved in such ways, but I cannot pretend that masses are not prone to idiocy, violence, and lunacy.

Is that what is happening in Cairo, I don’t know. I don’t think so, but I think the media is making it appear to be one of those two paradigms.

I am currently 5 to 10 minutes walk from the epicenter, and there is not a sound on the street. Only the noise in my head and my jet lag keep me up for such hours. Obama is on Aljezeera standing in front of an American flag and a Canadian flag asking for violence to stop in Egypt. Thoughts are running through my head about so many things. At one point I want to join the revolution, at another, I am not an activist at all. I don’t quite know what to do with myself.

I think I will continue to focus on the macrocosm and remember that everywhere in the world, there are things that need to be fixed. Things that need attention. I will keep dreaming I suppose, of the pyramids, tourism and what uprising means to the daily bread of a people.

I am still convinced that Mubarak had something to do with Sadaat's assassination and that unlike what they taught me in foreign policy class, it was not a warning shot, but a spare. I guess I am crazy though for not having enough authors to cite in my speculation. What can you do?

At the end of the day, there is you, and only you, alone with your spirit and the deeds done. What do you choose? Freedom fighter? Renegade journalist? Crazy soul seeker? Lover? Friend? Or just plain human being at the core?

I think I opt for the later few. Maybe that is my purpose…to remind and report the normalcy of human beingness in daily life amid chaotic human expression.